Advice of a High School Graduate

You would think that the first week of summer would be relaxing.

For most of my friends, the first week of summer has meant jetting off to some exotic location to pose in bikinis whilst basking in the hot sun. My Instagram feed has been FULL of gorgeous people with growing tan lines, exotic drinks in hand whilst lounging by the pool.

Compare that with my week: moving house and trying to reorganise my whole life into a very small space whilst squeezing in all those last minute jobs I should have done at any point other than now…

But, despite the fact I’m not in an exotic country drinking a refreshing drink whilst debating whether to go for a dip in the pool, it’s been a good week. I feel very productive if I’m honest; when I finally got to see my new bedroom floor again for the first time since moving in yesterday, I was very proud of myself.

And writing… well, where do I begin? I’ve had SO many plot ideas it’s unreal. My brain is on hyperdrive I swear. This book 4 is going to be so good, I can just feel it!

Aside from all that, one massive thing has changed in my life since my last post: I am no longer a high school student! I am officially a high school graduate… is it just me or does that sound surreal?

When I started this blog nearly two years ago now, it helped me balance and make sense of my new life starting sixth form. Come September, this blog is going to help me through the next step, which seems all the more frightening, but ultimately more exciting I’m sure.

I just wanted to confirm, as I’ve not really talked about it, but a few people have asked: I will be keeping up blogging when I go to uni. In fact, I think that I’m going to have more freedom at uni to pursue my passions such as blogging and YouTube, and I hope that you will all be here for the next step in this journey with me. I’m excited, and I hope you are too.

But, before we start thinking about September, as that is a long way off right now, I realise that it is now my turn to give some advice.

Perusing some other high school bloggers, I notice that graduates tend to do a sort of “advice from a high school graduate post”. And as I’m always giving out unnecessary pieces of advice because I genuinely can’t help myself, I thought that I could definitely could get behind a post like that!

So, at the risk of boring you all and sounding hypocritical and/or cheesy, here are my top pieces of advice as a high school graduate. I hope you can learn something from little old me :)

(Bear in mind, this is a list of stuff that I have learned and would with hindsight do, not that I’ve actually done during my time in high school. I had to learn the hard way just like everyone else)

1) Don’t make rash decisions when it comes to friends

When I started in year 7, I instantly gelled with a group of people. I thought that they would be my best friends for the rest of my time in high school and didn’t attempt to get to know anyone else. As the journey through school progressed, friendship groups changed, as they naturally do, and at the end of school, I barely spoke to the girls who I’d thought where my best friends at first and one of my best friends was one of the girls that I barely got to know at first. So, it proves that you shouldn’t make quick decisions about people, because you never know what they’re really like. Take the time to get to know everyone, and you’ll enrich your time at school more by making stronger relationships.

2) Keep your options and mind open

I know that it can be hard to do this. We all naturally want to find one path and stick to it. If there was a to-do list on exactly how to live your life, I’m sure quite a lot of people would take it for the reassurance it provides. When you make a decision, you always convince yourself that it’s best to reduce your options and focus on what’s important.

My whole school experience has taught me that this is not at all true. It’s easy, but it’s not true. For every door you close, you make your life that bit smaller, and that is a tragedy, especially when you’re in high school and there are so many options open to you.

And to clarify, I don’t mean take maths when you don’t like maths. Pursue your passion and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. All I’m saying is that you should bear in mind that keeping as many doors open until the last moment will be a good thing in the future.

For example with me, I have as many doors as possible open at the moment, because I want to have as much freedom to choose as I can.

3) Get involved!

This is just fundamental.

Ask yourself this one question: when I leave school, do I want to be remembered? Do I want to have tried everything I could and have left an imprint in people’s lives?

For me, the answer to this question was yes, so I got involved. With everything I could! I put my hand up for everything, even if it was out of my comfort zone.

And that has shaped me as a person. I’ve tried so many different things, and I know that I will never do some of them again, but I also know who I am now.

When I left, I was struck with how many people wanted to wish me luck and tell me they would miss me; I never thought I had made such a difference. I find you’re never conscious of the impact you make until you leave a place.

But if you get involved with as much as possible, you will shape not only your life but the life of others.

4) Never miss an opportunity

This relates to the point above. Opportunity comes around so often in life, and you have to jump in!

There are so many opportunities throughout my school career that I look back at and regret not having got involved in. If I could go back, being the person I am now, I would have taken those opportunities, and my life would have been different in many ways.

I have found that there is always more to give, even when you feel there isn’t. I’ve said no to many things on the basis that I had no more energy to give, when I now know there was.

So, don’t miss out! Give it a go and see what that opportunity gives you – I promise it will be worth it.

5) Say it now, not later

Another one of the lessons I learned the hard way. Don’t sit on something when you know it needs to be said. Words can eat you up inside. Say it out loud, whatever it is, because if you don’t, you’ll miss your opportunity and that is damaging to you. I know it’s hard, but it’s the best thing to do. You’re just going to have to trust me on that one.

6) It’s your life and your story not anyone else’s

This one makes me sad every time I think of it. There are SO many people I know living the life they think they should be instead of the one they want to.

And I think that’s appalling. It’s your life! Choose how you live it, for goodness sake!

Be who you want to be, not who anyone (and I mean ANYONE) says you should. Be true to yourself and find your happiness. Live your life the way you want to.

Don’t compromise who you are for anyone, be that a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, teacher, parent or anyone else. You have to write your own story, not anyone else.

I remember someone once saying that you have to be the leading lady in your life not the extra.

Remember that and live by it!

7) It’s okay to not be okay

I’ve spent much of my teenage years hiding things away. I don’t vocalise when I have a problem. I don’t say when I’m upset. I don’t speak out over injustice.

I used to think this was being brave. I used to think it was a sign of being grown-up.

But it’s not.

When you’re not okay, you have to remember that it’s fine to feel that way. In fact, embrace that feeling. Tell people how you feel.

Don’t let it bubble up inside you. It’s a toxic way to live. It’s not brave, it’s stupid.

Let it out so that you can let it go. Say it aloud to make it go away.

8) Every experience holds a lesson

SO. TRUE.

When the sky is grey, it’s hard to remember to look for the silver lining in the clouds. When the rain crashes down around your ears and you feel like you’re drowning in it all, wait until the sunshine comes out again, and then reflect on what you learned. There is ALWAYS a lesson.

Whether it is, “don’t do that again” or “try that next time” or even just “it will get better”, these lessons sculpt the person you become. I know when you’re in the middle of a horrible experience, you can’t see any good in it.

But I promise you there will be. The shadows have to be there so we can appreciate the light.

9) Never try to be cool at the expense of who you are

Another one that used to aggravate me in school. I saw so many people compromising their own thoughts and desires in favour of following someone else’s.

THEY. ARE. NOT. YOU.

So, stop pretending to be them! Be you! The wonderfully, beautifully, messy, complex person that you are!

Embrace YOURSELF, and not anyone else. It’s not cool to be like someone else. It’s cool to be yourself.

I have made more friends than ever before by accepting who I am and embracing my lovable weirdness. I too once thought that pretending to be someone I wasn’t would gain me friends. But it won’t. I promise you.

Be you and have people love you for who you are.

10) Don’t stop dreaming and believing in yourself

This applies to everyone.

When the “real world” kicks in, we as individuals are actively encouraged to stop dreaming big and be practical.

But who the hell ever achieved greatness by being practical?

It doesn’t matter what field you are in or what career you pursue. Believe in yourself and keep dreaming!

If you keep dreaming, one day those dreams will become goals, and then they will be reality. All you need is to believe in yourself, and then you are only limited by the restrictions of your own imagination.

I will never be practical, if that is what society believes it is to stop dreaming. I’m going to be an impractical dreamer who constantly believes in herself.

Because that is all I or you need.

And my most important lesson: have fun! Believe me, it is not as long as you think it will be. Have fun as much as is physically possible, because when it’s all over, you’ll remember those moments of fun for the rest of your life. Remember to live joyfully.

Last week at speech day, some of the most inspirational girls I know gave some brilliant speeches with awesome pieces of advice. I asked them to send me their favourite quote to share with you all, and I hope these words inspire you as much as they did me.

Emma: “We take risks because we are confident enough to pick ourselves back up again.”

Lucia: “When we believe in ourselves, we make the unimaginable achievable.”

Samy: “Never believe that an action is ever too small or useless, as many people say something is better than nothing. All great movements and accomplishments were a result of small actions creating awareness, creating change.”

And my personal favourite by Samy: “Therefore, eat everything you want, talk and laugh until your voice gives out, take every opportunity that comes your way and be kind. But above all, don’t be scared.”

#advice #highschoolgraduate #roxyelle