First Week Review

(Yes I’m still managing to drag out the uni themed posts - stick with me)

First off, apologies for any of this being a bit disjointed. I’m writing this whilst waiting to go into an audition, so naturally I’m a bit stressed. But this is a great distraction from stress as usual.

So, I find myself once more saying: what a week.

The first week of proper uni life has been so full-on, but amazing.

Balancing uni work, with blog stuff, with finding the right rooms, with auditions, with Instagram, with getting up for the bus, with breathing every once in while has been pretty intense.

I’ve had such a thrilling week with my first English lectures and seminars; I find that that style of learning really appeals to me actually. There is no teacher nagging us with deadlines or insisting that we work, so it’s completely in our control, which really works for me. I feel in control of my own schedule and how it works for me.

That said, it’s a lot more intense than high school obviously. For next week, we have to read the whole of The Odyssey (which if you don’t know is a huge book). We’re scheduled to do a book a week!

Which is really hard to manage, but it also means that we get to span a huge range of literature in only a small space of time. So I’m really looking forward to it.

On the drama side, there are literally no words... it’s so amazing!

I’m so glad that I had faith in the fact that it would be different to curriculum high school drama (which I really didn’t like). I was terrified that it would be the same, but the two experiences can’t be compared.

We’ve been working on our practical modules this week, which has been so physically and mentally stimulating.

Drama works a little different to other degrees obviously, so we have practical modules and theoretical modules. As I’m doing joint, I only do the practical module this term.

At the moment, we’re exploring play and now playing games feeds into performance. I thought it was going to be quite a basic topic, but actually it’s really layered and interesting on the reading side of things, and really active and exciting on the performance side.

The atmosphere in our first active session on Wednesday was stilted and awkward at first. We didn’t know each other, so we all had our guards up and were being cautious.

By the end of the session, we’d all loosened up and learned to trust each other, listening to each other’s thoughts and getting to know each other’s personalities.

And all through simply playing some kids games!

Not to bore you all to death with theory, but I found it interesting how intelligent kids must be to play these games. They all use strategy, tactic, have healthy competition and require a lot of concentration. It never occurred to me before, but as we were playing, I was struck with how mentally exhausting it was to keep concentrating.

So hats off to kids; I’ve learned a new respect for the sproglets* ;)

*yes I made up a word to describe kids, yes I use it all the time, yes I’m going to be the next Shakespeare 😂

On the flip side, as much as I’ve loved this week, it’s been a bit overwhelming.

I won’t lie to you; I’ve been stressed as heck this week.

And, continuing with the honesty, I’ve been having more than a few battles with my insecurities. Everyone has them, there’s no use pretending that I’m immune.

This week they’ve been mainly in the shape of can I cope and am I good enough.

Which are two questions which I resolve that until the day I die I will probably never know the answer fully. Can I cope with everything that comes my way? Am I good enough to do well in the things I love? Who knows?

But as I sit here pondering over my audition pieces and watching all the other buzzing hopefuls in this corridor, I’m thinking that all I can do is my best. It doesn’t matter for the moment whether I’m good enough for what needs to be done or whether I can always keep my head above water.

For right now, in this moment, I’ve got to do my best, whatever that is. And trust that what happens next is going to be another adventure.

This month has completely changed my whole life, as it has for loads of other people my age. Everything that I ever knew is different, so it’s only natural to wobble.

If you’re wobbling this week, no matter what your situation, just remember that it is perfectly natural and everyone around you will know exactly what you’re feeling.

Life’s a tightrope: sometimes you walk the line perfectly, sometimes you wobble, sometimes you fall. What’s important is to keep moving forward and trust in what will be.

The song cover I’m posting tomorrow is resonating with me a lot at the moment because it sums up how I’m feeling at the moment. It would mean a lot to me if you’d al give it some love - 11 am tomorrow.

Have a hopefully smooth week on the tightrope of life* ;)

*yes now I’m a degree level English student, I have the excuse to be a complete pain-in-the-ass, make up my own metaphors, and use them at all intervals. Sue me 😝

#firstweek #reviews #university