What If...

It feels very strange to be writing one of these after so long.

I’ve tried to start a post several times, and ultimately ended up deleting it.

And the longer I left it, the more daunting a task it felt.

If I’m honest I suppose that for a long while, my heart wasn’t truly in it. I didn’t know what to write and used that as an excuse not to.

But I’ve found that the problem with that is that I am a writer. Words feed my soul, and writing is my passion. It’s not a passion that I fully understand, but it is undeniable.

Over the last few months, I’ve been near-constantly writing. Without this blog as an outlet to post my words, I find my laptop is over-spilling with unused material.

A few days ago, I started to think about the reasons I stopped blogging and reflected that none of them are applicable anymore. So, what stops me from starting back up again?

As someone who has been known to quit things when the going gets tough, I am well-aware that once you give something up it’s incredibly difficult to pick it back up again.

But I figured that if I didn’t at least try, I’d always wonder what if. And from experience, what if is the worst question to live with.

I’ll quote some wise words from my favourite movie, Letters to Juliet:

“What and if are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.”

These words, added with the desire to spread my work, the desire to show perseverance instead of quitting, and, in total honesty, a desire to continue extended writing practice which I’m sure will help me in my future career, provoked me to seriously consider the pros and cons of restarting this blog.

And as you can see, the pros won out.

About six months ago, I said that I wasn’t the same person I was three or four months beforehand. And yet, I continued to write my blog posts and film my YouTube videos like the person I was before.

I’ve decided that that’s rather a counter-productive approach; my writing style should develop and grow as I do. So, to reflect that decision, my content and style is going to be different to what it was before.

Whilst the country is in lockdown and quarantine, I imagine it’ll be quite easy for me to post weekly blog posts, but when I go back to uni, I’m not making any promises. I don’t want to add any unnecessary pressures.

When I go back to Exeter in September, follow me on Instagram (@roxyelle01) for updates on when I’ll be posting.

In other news, at the moment, I’m in the middle of writing the sequel to “Just A Moment” (read on Inkitt - https://www.inkitt.com/RoxyElle ) - after struggling to start this novel, it’s off to a promising start now and I’m really looking forward to posting this as-yet-untitled sequel. I hope that this can be a positive renewal - as my mum always says, if things don't go right the first time around, you have to try again :)

EDIT -----

If anyone is struggling right now given the current situation and needs someone to talk to, drop a comment or a dm to my Instagram. I’m here for anyone who needs ❤️

#helloworld #roxyelle #quarantinepost