(Over A) Month At Uni

During reading week, I expected that I would have done more. I planned to read ahead on my English course and finishwriting my current novel at the very least.

The reality is that I’ve only just finished all my set and extended readings, and I haven’t written those link pieces of “Never Fall For The Bad Boy” that I said I would.

Truth is, I’ve hit a real wall with this story I’m currently writing. I guess it’s just started hitting a bit too close to home at the moment, and as clueless as I am with the situation in my own life, I’m no clearer for Bea and Luke. So, apologies to my readers, but I’m trying my best to finish that for you asap.

Any other writers feel my pain with that kind of writer’s block? Comment down below if you do.

(Note: this post was actually supposed to be a couple of weeks ago, but I’ve gone slightly off plan a few times recently… so, here’s a bit of a revised version.)

I’ve been at uni for over a month…

Where the heck did all that time go?

I can say that this has been one of the craziest months of my entire life.

In the space of a six week term in drama, I have learned many things, but I’ll give you four main things here: drama students are amazing, improv isn’t as awful as I thought it was, children’s games are surprisingly competitive, and it’s rather difficult to embody a piece of bubble wrap… (if you don’t know, don’t ask – you’ll think we’re all insane)

On the English side, arguably we’ve been more “productive”, given the fact in six weeks, I’ve read The Odyssey, Beowulf, Christopher Marlowe’s biography (he had a sad life), Dr Faustus, and many other things besides.

That’s the beauty of my degree I’m finding – one side of the degree is really intellectually stimulating and stretching, and the other is emotionally and physically engaging.

One half is incredibly social; in fact, it relies upon the relationships and bonds of trust that we form as a group. The other couldn’t be more different; I go into lectures and sit next to random people and barely speak to anyone outside of my seminars.

I don’t think I could manage one half without the other though. I need that flip side variation. And I’m actually really happy that I knew that back when I was making my choices.

I remember how awful it was when I made my choice. I couldn’t shake the thought that maybe I was making the wrong decision.

Everyone else around me seemed to have a specific career in mind when they were picking their degrees. I had no clue, and that just made it scary.

What if I picked something that I really couldn’t bear? I didn’t have a career in mind to pull me through it, so it would be awful if I didn’t enjoy the degree, wouldn’t it?

I know how it feels to be in the state of mind, and if any of you are going through the same thing and want to talk, DM me (@roxyelle01)

But, my best piece of advice is to go with your gut.

My gut said to be indecisive and take both English and Drama. To mix and match. To be in control of what I studied and to do what I’m interested in.

And that was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Obviously, uni isn’t all about the studying. There’s a lot more to deal with.

There have been plenty of memory book moments for me over the last month; open mic night during Freshers, my first Cheezys, Emmanuel and squaring up, being on a radio panel for the first time, quiz night at the Ram, stopping for Five Guys in the middle of a night out… I could go on, but I don’t want to ramble.

And no, it’s not all been plain sailing. For the first couple of weeks, there was a great deal of finding my feet. Not living in accommodation made me feel quite socially isolated at first, which wasn’t easy.

I can’t tell you the exact moment that things began to change. But I think it was, ironically, when I started to relax and be myself.

On a day to day basis, I’m sure we can all admit that we spend a lot of time pretending to be something we’re not and putting up barriers to keep ourselves safe. By my age, you’ve had a fair share of experiences that have hurt you and have made you want to protect yourself from that kind of pain ever again. I know that that was definitely the case with me.

I would never have believed that it was the exact thing that I thought that was protecting me that was making life harder for me. It makes sense; you can’t expect to connect with and gain the trust of another person if you’re not willing to take that step yourself.

So, I took that step. Or at least I’m working on breaking down all those barriers I spent years constructing. I’m working on being true to the real me. And that’s made me happier than I’ve been in years.

And now that I’ve found where I stand in it all, I’m free to enjoy this amazing experience I’m having. It’s wild, it’s bewildering, it’s exciting… but most of all, I know that the memories I make here are going to last a lifetime.

I started collating this list of things I’ve learned whilst at uni in my first week here. It’s steadily grown as I’ve been here longer, and will no doubt grow further as I continue my studies. There’s still a lot more I don’t know, and this is just the beginning of this life-changing journey.

I thought you might like to read some of these things I’ve learned. I’m not going to expand or give context (mainly because a few of them relate to my personal life very closely); take them as you will.

Things uni has taught me:

1. Don’t be afraid to be alone

2. You know when you know – likewise, you know when it’s just not right

3. It’s meant to be overwhelming – keeping afloat counts

4. Essentially speaking, you’re the only one who cares what you do

5. You only feel foolish when you get too wrapped up in yourself

6. Going out can be exactly what you want it to be

7. The worst thing that can happen is not even asking

8. If even a small part of you wants to do it, do it

9. Take a chance on yourself – no one else will if you don’t

10. Don’t give up too soon

I can’t stress some of the above points enough… but, I know that if you’re not at this stage in your life where you’ve learned these yourself, they’re meaningless. I wish I could help you guys fast-track (heck, I wish I could go back and help little me fast track to this point), but I know I can’t.

So, for now, I’ll just be happy with the knowledge that everything will work out as it’s supposed to.

And I’ll hope that at some point I’ll take number 7 into account and just ask… another story for another time ;)

Have a great week,

#universitylessons #exeter #amonthatuni