Week Eleven: "a triple opportunity of exploration–abroad, into the author’s brain, and into our own"

This week, we were looking into writing from life and how we can translate our real-life experiences into a fictional medium. From the discussion of the topic, a lot of interesting questions rose, providing definite food for thought if I choose to explore this genre more at some point.

The module page gave the following introduction: "Writing from life involves a complex interplay between truth and form. The relationship between the two is, for each of us, a personal and philosophical matter. Some might argue that a story, even if based on lived experience, becomes something other to that experience when it enters a literary form."

We discussed that the author's job when communicating an event from real experience is to shape the event in some way, and that requires the skills of writing fiction. Thus, although life writing is considered as a different exercise than fiction writing, both can teach the author skills to use in the other.

Below are my notes on the various readings this week:

Aftermath by Rachael Cusk

- The jigsaw acts as an extended metaphor for the broken relationship - puzzle pieces that don't fit back together?

- Very personal narrative – personal reflections on the situation

- “the new reality, as far as I could see, was only something broken.” - people encourage the character to move forward and find "the new reality", but it is not a concept that she can agree with

- “the story has to obey the truth, to represent it, like clothes represent the body.” - is this the author's way of communicating that the story is true, or at least her perception of the truth?

- The husband is resentful from the separation, but the character appears not to be initially; perhaps her resentment is less obvious/ more under the surface?

- The question of child custody in a divorce is brought into the debate - is it feminist of the character to claim the children as her own and want them to be solely her responsibility?

- The character compares her relationship with other relationships - once more providing a personal angle; it is common for us to compare ourselves to others

- Aftermath means "second cutting" - is this title a metaphor in itself for the secondary pain of the divorce, such as with the argument over the children?

- It’s clear that there are elements of the story which are personal truth – it’s difficult to define what is truth and what is fiction

- “you could be forgiven for thinking that a feminist is a woman who hates women, hates them for being such saps.” - an interesting point she brings up in her debate as to whether she considers herself a feminist - her perception becomes that feminist women are potentially a negative thing

- “Either she’s doing twice as much as she did before, or she sacrifices her equality and does less than she should.” - another really interesting point in the general debate on modern feminism - the character has to do twice as much as she did before, but feels as if she can't change that

- Feels more like an essay than a story – making too many points

- Anecdotal – perfect description of what the story is

- Very heavy – rarely split up by direct dialogue

- Interesting debate on the larger concepts of motherhood, feminism and the roles of women within the personal situation of a divorce - is it easier to explore these larger concepts using a smaller scale background/experience?

A Coup by Bruce Chatwin

- Set in the middle of a Brazilian war/coup - atmosphere of unrest and danger throughout

- Dialogue interspersed in the narrative - allows for more personal voices than in "Aftermath"

- The narrator is taken into custody as a mercenary – though he is a tourist

- It is slowly revealed that the area often suffers from political unrest

- The narrator spends most of the time talking to the other prisoner - perhaps the author's way of giving a real person a voice that would not normally be heard?

- Very harsh imagery and situation in places – representing the narrative’s relationship with reality, and demonstrates the basis of truth behind the story

- Once again, difficult to draw the line of where truth stops and fiction begins - it appears that a good piece of life writing can blur the line so that the reader can believe that any piece of information within the text is either truth or fiction

Dead Man Laughing by Zadie Smith

- A very personal story

- Speaking with her father is difficult – his life surrounds comedy, in particular the comedy which he regards, and it is hard to engage with him on any other subject - relatable to the reader perhaps? Quite a courageous thing to admit

- Feels almost like free indirect speech instead of a specific plotted story

- Comedy is intrinsic to the story and to the structure of the family

- The author reveals the jokes that run in the family - potentially very personal once again

- “he ended up with little more than he had started with”

- A nice remembrance of her father in a way

- Unlike the other two stories, Smith's stories feels very personal in a more loving way - neither Chatwin nor Cusk care whether they offend, whereas Smith appears to want to create a charming narrative/remembrance

Michael Chabon in Fes

- Memories of a rather bizarre holiday

- There is a lot of ersonal reflection over the course of the story

- Reminds me a little of that movie "Holiday"

- A kind of travel journal for Morocco, but made more interesting with personal input - the story is somehow more relatable and inviting than an article on travel in Morocco would be

On Seeing the 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning by Haruki Murakami

- Several different plotlines in this story – the reader is unable to determine which is fact and which is fiction

- The story might be just a pick-up line, or it may be the truth - Murakami is really playing with the line between fact and fiction

- He knows he loves this girl but can’t say why - feels very natural and like a personal reflection on life and love

- A thought-provoking story about destiny and how destiny can be changed

- The ending of the story is poignant and very realistic - in fiction, the boy would have spoken to the girl and probably lived the romance he describes, but in real life, he would have most likely walked past her and they would have never met - Murakami reminds you after his very romantic story that the real story is more grounded in reality than that

Three by David Sedaris

- A collection of three stories

- First story: all about animals

- The way the pets intertwine with the rest of their lives

- The dog acts as a link between the mother and father

- The pets are always replaced after they’ve died – the narrator comments as to whether the father will replace their mother after she dies in the same way

- The pets seem to act as an emotional shield of kinds to the characters - the concept seems real, but the way the author adds layers to the truth makes the reflections seem more fictious

- Second story: a language class discussing various different holiday traditions

- A clash of cultures and linguistics - once again seems very natural and realistic

- Whether this story is something the author has experienced themselves or not, the situation appears very plausible and raises some interesting cultural and linguistical points

- Third story: the relationship of the narrator and their father and how it is affected by music

- The father wants the narrator to become musical

- Mr Mancini (the teacher) is kind of inappropriate – talks about women instead of teaching guitar to the narrator

- The narrator gives up at the end after Mancini dismisses him for his singing

- Once more, this feels like a very personal story; although there are some parts in the story which you would hope aren't true, the story retains its realistic feel throughout

-To me, the stories all feel very different - almost like the author is writing with a similar concept to "two lies, one truth" - two of the stories could be hypothetical and one could be true, or easily enough they could all not be true, but I somehow doubt they are all true - Sedaris appears to want you to guess whether they are true or not.

These very different pieces of life writing demonstrate the scope of this genre. However, as Blake Morrison points out in her Guardian article, "Too much information? The writers who feel the need to reveal all", is life writing a "Spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings (Wordsworth) or free association (Freud)" I personally think it's a difficult question to answer. It is evident that life writing can be cathartic and provide closure on a situation which was not finished in the way we would have liked, but if that is it's value to the writer, what is it's value to the reader?

We were given the below questions on Cusk's writing to consider:

1. How you would classify Cusk's piece of writing? Is it an essay, fiction, conventional non-fiction (if there is such a thing), a magazine article, philosophical meditation, cultural analysis, of anything else you can think of?

I’d personally say it feels like an essay. It doesn’t have the style or narrative arc of a fictional piece and is too heavy in content to be a magazine article. It also appears to have recurring points which the author evaluates and re-evaluates over the course of the piece, which speaks to me of an essay-like style.

2. Cusk in her interview and in her story talks a lot about form. How does her absolute emphasis on form express itself in Aftermath?

Her insistence on knowing exactly where the plot is going before writing it is clear in "Aftermath"; the narrator clearly knows precisely where she’s going and what she wants to say (which once again lends itself to the essay format more than the story). Cusk clearly believes that form is essential in life-writing if the author wants to remain focussed and keep their main points in view, which she does very well in "Aftermath"

3. Make a list of all the different kinds of information she brings into her story. How is this integrated and what does it bring to the experience of reading her work?

The initial divorce, the children, the custody argument, the easing/settling into the "new reality".

The information is slowly integrated into the story as time progresses; the slow revelation of the pieces of information allows the reader time to process the clear points that Cusk is making with her work. In that sense, the reader has a deeper appreciation of what is happening and precisely why Cusk is discussing such a personal situation in her life, but for me, this also meant the story lost a certain degree of energy and interest.

4. Is there a point where the narrator of the 'story' starts to become a rich 'character'. What can you say about the way in which the story is paced to create this effect (if it exists) and do you like the process it takes you through?

Personally I couldn’t find much connection with the character through Cusk’s form which felt quite disjointed and tangential to me. The story felt quite slow paced to me and therefore I struggled to engage with the character, but this is probably a lot to do with my identity as a reader; this is not a narrative which I could find any relatability with.

The richness of the character could be interpreted as the way the author slowly reveals the narrator’s personality and situation. Also, the situation the character goes through is quite common and therefore probably quite relatable to a large percentage of her readers, allowing for a greater depth of connection with the character and appreciation of the richness of the character.

5. Images and metaphors are important in Aftermath. How do they shape and lead the development of the narrative?

The narrative is developed by these metaphors and images, allowing the narrator some distance from the reality of the situation she is in. Her seemingly tangential thoughts that are often characterised by images and metaphors are all linked to one another by the end of the piece, and in this way they shape the narrative, allowing for the larger points to develop in the light of the more personal/anecdotal points.

I took these notes in the lecture:

- Life writing is creative non-fiction that documents personal histories, whether your own or someone else’s exploring and expressing the self, memory, relationship and identity.

- Instead of fiction writers who ask "what could happen?", life writers ask "what was it like, what does it mean?"

- It is a relatively new genre

- Is conventional fiction fake or redundant when compared to life writing?

- Take a real source of some kind and make creative decisions to mix it up in a particular way - what kind of writing does this produce? Fiction or life writing?

- What are the pitfalls and challenges of writing about your own life and personal experiences?

- How can we narrate the self in light of all the powerful influence which tug us in different directions?

- “Consider what immense forces society brings to play upon each of us, how that society changes from decade to decade; and also from class to class; well, if we cannot analyse these invisible presences, we know very little of the subject of the memoir; and again how futile life-writing becomes.” Virginia Woolf

- “Enter into a profound relationship with another person, crossing through time.” lecturer

- A biography doesn’t have to be based upon a famous person – how can the small stories be more extraordinary?

- There may be tension between you and a story you don’t actually like – if you find out that your character is imperfect, or even a bad person, do you judge that person and choose not to write about them? Do you allow them to be the complicated person they are? Or do you disregard their misdeeds?

- The “skeletons” that become unravelled in the study of history – are they things you’re prepared to face in your writing?

- Travel writing can be impersonal and boring – writing about a foreign place can be more engaging if it has a personal link through it: a love affair, a loss, a personal development

- “We love a true story and the richness and variety in people’s lives” - lecturer

- To write a memoir, you have to confront all the traumas within your life to make them interesting – most stories are made interesting through traumas and real life pains – we have to have immense courage to take these on, but it can be a cathartic experience – “rob it of its power to hurt and lay it to rest”

- Does a life-story have to be completely true and faithful?

- Is a memoir vain? Do you dwell on yourself to the point of narcissism?

- Life-writing allows introspection - If you don’t understand yourself, how can you understand others?

- “Situate the personal story in a wider context” lecturer

- There is a potential to embarrass or hurt – what is the impact on those around you when you create this personal work?

- Show people the sections in your book which refer to them – are they offended or are they flattered? Give them agency to make their own decisions about their character.

- Make it something that people will read

- History shouldn’t be contaminated by false history

- Where is the line between truth and lies? Think of the drama piece that Mae’s group did – something that might be true, something that might be false

- Memoir means remembering, and memories are fallible – they are all subject to our personal influences

- Memory and imagination can blur and corrupt fact

- When people are disguised, there is less worry about offense – you can be more brutally truthful in your work

- “Memoirs lie but fiction tells the truth” lecturer

- Reformulate private vulnerabilities into a public format

- Balance personal with impersonal, fact and fiction

- Life-writing is interrogative – we have to accept that we are subjective – we are not omniscient, god-like creatures.

- In writing, we have to travel in search of the unknown – it’s not about knowing everything

And finally, I made these notes in my seminar. This week's seminar raised a lot of questions and was really stimulating as a forum for debate, so I feel as if I took away a lot, and a fair amount I can't put into words adequately:

- We are often writing about things we’ve experienced anyway – with life writing, the reader can probably relate to the emotions and experiences even if they don’t relate to the anecdote itself.

- Life writing can give you a more realistic basis to work from with a character – like basing an acting character off of someone you know

- In a sense, all writing is life writing - we as writers often let our experiences of situations and/or emotions guide our characters/narratives - however, in pure fiction it is more subtle

- It can give you a bit of distance sometimes from a negative experience in your life.

- Aftermath didn’t really have a story/structure/arc – this diminishes engagement

- Two people who experience the same thing can react to it in a completely different way

- “It’s hard to think that your experiences could be interesting to people. But actually they are probably more interesting than you think and that might be a skill in itself. Even if you do want to add details etc.” Jojo (seminar group)

- The fluidity of life writing makes it difficult to define a beginning, middle and end.

- It’s a different process from fiction – the plot can be an obstruction to life writing

- Cusk’s writing is essay-like – more philosophical

- Admitting that you’ve done something wrong is more respectable, but can also be incredibly nerve-wracking

- “The artistry blocks out the morality” - we can listen to music or read poems/books from people who have been immoral, or are creating immoral characters, but the art "blocks out" our need to define right and wrong.

- You can sympathise with a bad character sometimes – think of the example of the protagonist in “You” - despite the fact he kills people, you begin to feel he has due reason for it and find yourself sympathising with him.

- When writing, it's vital to remember that the reader is locked in your perspective – it may not necessarily be the truth, but it’s your perspective of the truth – in this way, it’s not so focussed upon what offends others

- Writing about one event from various different perspectives – this vein of creative writing encourages us to be empathetic – allows us to see things from other people’s perspectives

I collated a list of all the questions we raised, most without finding answers to them. We generally agreed that with most of these, it depends upon the situation and therefore they can't be answered on a wider scale:

- How do we make our life writing applicable to others?

- Can a plot be interesting to an outside reader if it’s anecdotal/personal to you or your friends/family?

- Is life writing hard because you have to dig deep into yourself?

- Does distorting a piece of life writing to make it work for a specific aim/ to present your character in a certain way constitute a lie?

- Is poetry an easier medium to express your own feelings/experiences? Less fear, as poetry is an abstract medium?

- Where’s the line between autobiography and fiction?

- Do you look back on memories when you write, or do you choose to embody the voice of your younger self/ the self in that moment?

- When it’s personal, is it harder to find a plotline?

- Working from a pivotal moment, do you have to make up what happens next to create a narrative arc? Or to fill in a gap of something you don’t specifically remember?

- Is it ok to forego plot completely? It can make a story quite fragmented, but is that ok?

– Do you choose to be completely honest or not?

- Does poetry/fiction/music allow us a sort of creative screen to hide behind when we write about something negative that we’ve done?

- How do others react to your depiction of them in your story? Should you care?

- Where is the line on hurting the people you love? They can shape the person you are, but relating those stories can sometimes present them as a bad person